Finding a happy medium

I abandoned this blog last week and didn't think I'd come back.  I've been eating like crap and who wants to take pictures of that?  I'm not a fitness expert.  I don't even know what the hell I'm doing.  But I'm motivated and want to learn to be a healthy better version of myself.  SO...I'm going to come back and keep track of what I'm doing.  I'll think of it as a personal diary shared with a select few.  I'll blog.  Not every day, just when I feel like it.

Check out my links on the right with all my favorite bloggers.  They have taught me a lot and are my favorite new guilty pleasure.  I say guilty because I avoid work and look at blogs.  Not the most responsible thing, but SOO enjoyable.

I leave you (or just me I guess) with a little self talk I had yesterday.

Dear Self,

It's not about how many times you fall.  It's about how frequently and quickly you pick yourself up.  It's not about what you do 10% of the time that decides your fate, it's what you choose to do the other 90%.  It's about your commitment to your body that matters most.  Not what other people say or not even what you see, it's about what you feel and what you do.  It's about your desire to be better and work harder and stay healthy.  It's about making a commitment and sticking with it.  You can and you will do this.  You will work every day to make sure that 90% of your choices make up for the 10% of crap you do to yourself.  Focus on the 90% and move forward.  You've kicked some ass to get this far, and you'll finish the journey.

Love,
Your proud inner thoughts

"Running just as fast I can..."

Okay, not as fast I could, but the shoutout to Tiffany is necessary because that song was the first one playing on my MP3 player when I started this morning.   And it's one of my lifelong favorites.

I woke up late, for the fourth time this week. And raced to the gym for a quick run. I hate running and I don't know how to do it. BUT, I LOVE the idea of it. I want so badly to call myself a runner.  So, the only way to make this a reality, is to give it a good shot!

My goal was to run for 10 minutes, walk for one, run for ten.  Instead, I ran for 26!  My pace is my biggest weakness.  My little legs are incapable of running ten minute miles, I don't know how people do it.  BUT, I decided for now to focus on time and distance, and not speed (hoping that when I'm really a runner, the speed will increase).  SO, I was thrilled with those 26 minutes and got two miles in during that time!  I traded off between feeling like I was going to die to feeling like I could keep going for longer.  I probably would have gone for longer if I didn't have to rush to get ready for a meeting.

I was so behind, I only had time to grab two pieces of Ezekial bread and an orange.  I had to drive 80 miles to make it to this meeting.  I've been dreading it but so far it isn't too bad.  I enjoyed my bread, avoided the unhealthy unvegan bagel, and saved my orange for a little bit later.

I also have a beautiful view to enjoy when this meeting gets boring.

I had to go out for lunch with some colleagues, and I was worried about what my choices would be.  But, I went with a garden salad with raspberry vinnagrette (on the side!) and had them add avocado and black beans. 

It was DELISH!

The meeting is almost over and I will stop at the discount mall on the way home.  Maybe I'll find a cute new top for my evening out on Friday! 

...Until later!
Oh, this is one of my new favorite blogs! I eventually want to be a triathlete (after I become a runner, it will be my next step) so I am going to stay up-to-date on her posts. She's in the midst of a giveaway, so check it out so you can win!!!

My first blogging binge...

...and I don't have the pictures to share with you. Huh...can't seem to get my camera out when I pig out. Not much of a surprise.

Let's start at the beginning...I had a good morning. A nice 30 minutes on the elliptical, 15 on the bike, and a good stretching cool down. For breakfast I enjoyed oat bran, flax seed, purreed pumpkin, and some raspberries. Not the most delicious, but a nice healthy choice.

I got to school and a parent had brought in cookies. She said she needed them out of her house so she wouldn't eat them, and so she gave them to me. Thaaaaaanks.

I ate 11. Yup, ELEVEN. I need to be honest here and at least admit it. I am so mad at myself. I ate most of what I'm supposed to eat in a day, in five minutes. I guess moments like that remind me how I ballooned to 236 pounds.

BUT, moments like THIS (right now) remind me why I refuse to go back there.

I know my pig out session was because of a) accessibility to delicious bad for me items, and b) my stress. I am so overwhelmed and irritated at work right now. BUT...I'll power on, and I won't binge again.

For lunch (hmm, I'm shocked those cookies didn't fill me up :)) I had a portabella mushroom and corn on the cob.

Have you ever had a portabella? Amazing! I coated mine with half a tablespoon of bbq sauce and stuck it under George.

I heart George.

Corn on the cob is a great item for lunch at work. I stick the whole cob in the microwave for 2 1/2-3 minutes, shuck it, and enjoy!

Mmmm....


I just saw a parent of an old student and she said I look great. I will use that nice compliment to get me through the rest of the day, eating only what I have packed (which is a container of broccoli, a pear, and some peppers). I can do this!

Why mess with a good thing

I had another rough morning. I don't know why it's so painfully hard for me to get up these days. Must be the weather change. I snoozed for over an hour when I finally acknowledged it said 6:10am. There was no way I could fit a workout in so I put my head back down - but then realized I just had to do it and make it work. I got my sad lazy bum out of bed, raced to the gym, and clocked 45 minutes on the stairmaster before I raced home. I got ready in record time. It was a fast morning and I hope to wake up on time tomorrow.

For breakfast I had that delicious oat bran/flax seed/raspberry ensemble again. Mmm...

I don't get the people that have a different delicious meal every day. I say, if you ate well yesterday and enjoyed the foods you ate, you should do it again! That and I'm a busy gal. And I'm lazy. I tend to repeat the healthy foods (eh, and the not so healthy) until they're gone or I'm in a rut and need something new.

I wasn't "hungry" for a snack, but, most of what I eat isn't because I'm hungry. I did manage to avoid the chocolates from yesterday, and went for a slice of my Ezekial Sesame bread.

And then another...

For lunch, it was another slice of my spaghetti squash casserole. It was goooood.And two sliced up oranges (this is me, spicing up my picture :))

I have a headache building now, but I'm hoping to power through my day with the kiddos. I'm going to do my very best to avoid all chocolate for the remaining hours. I have a meeting after school that often brings delicious treats. I will allow myself ONE treat, if it's really worth it. For dinner I'm thinking a serving of wheat couscous, peas, and a Boca burger. I'm already drooling. ;)

Day Two

Well I overslept this morning, which I feel like is the story of my Mondays. I didn't make it to the gym, which bums me out. I will be at work until 8:30pm, so I'm really going to have to make good eating choices today.

I cut up my fruit for the day and packed it in my tupperware.

For breakfast, I enjoyed oat bran, flax seeds, and raspberries. I have to eat a fiber rich breakfast or I'm pigging out all morning.

I used to eat oatmeal, but this is lower in calories and just as delicious!

I don't usually add flax seed, but thought it would be a good idea.I love these frozen raspberries. Amazing! Stick them in the oats and they warm right up! I ate while commuting. The raspberries give this dish a real sweetness to it, without added sugar, which I love.

I have no idea how, but I didn't need my standard 10am snack! It must have been the flax seed.
For lunch, I enjoyed leftover spaghetti squash from last night (I am passionate about leftovers) and two nectarines that I cut up this morning.

No criticism against all the food blogs I LOVE to read, but I imagine it's a lot easier to blog your food when that's your job. Trying to work and focus on food is difficult in general, and that's why I'm hoping I can maintain this blog. Eat [mostly] healthy, exercise regularly, work full-time, and still have a life. Let's see how it goes...

On the agenda for snack is two pieces of this delicious bread and two oranges I cut up this AM.

Not sure what I'll do about dinner, seeing as how I'll be at work. Maybe a can of Amy's vegan soup I have ready for emergencies...

And, um, in the effort of full disclosure: I ate two of these....

Day One

On my first day of blogging my food/fitness, I woke up at 7:30am (eck, on a Sunday!?) and raced to the gym to fit in 45 minutes of elliptical. Before I headed to my cute little nephew's 2nd birthday, I grabbed a quick hunger-preventing breakfast.

I cannot say enough good things about the Ezekiel bread. I LOVE it! And, although I prefer peanut, I think almond butter is better for me.

While at the party, I eyed my choice of cupcakes.

I went with a coffee topping, but two bites in realized it just wasn't worth it.

I had to make the commute into work for some visits with students, and while there treated myself to a snack.

On the way home, I stopped at the mall because I needed new jeans. Um, look at me fitting into a 10!! I was so pleased! :)

By the time I was home, I was famished. I knew I needed to use that spaghetti squash on the counter, so I whipped up this. It was one of the most delicious dishes I've ever made. I even went back for seconds...(and fought off thirds).

I loved the idea of the crust, but it didn't taste quite right. I'll need to play around with it next time.

Now I'm finishing up laundry getting ready for the week!

Obsession

I started my virtual scrapbook a year ago. I thought I was a huge nerd writing a blog about my daily events, and then I realized I am one of millions! People actually take pictures of their prepackaged food and write a sentence about it and they get zillions of hits?? I am ALL over that.

And thus, my food and fitness blog was born...

Maybe this will help me control my binges. I have to account for it and actually take a picture of the massive amount of food I put into my mouth. Maybe this will help me learn to run and finally sign up for a race! Maybe this will help me reach that amazing spot that puts me at height/weight proportionate (seriously? is that too much to ask??). Thus, my "search for average" begins...